Most of the time when I feel no motivation to do anything I take a break. Sometimes a break lasts so long that I change my mind about the need to do what I was doing. I consider this as redirection to a better future. The future where I do not need to wake up with hate for the whole world and with hate on myself.
I was taught that I must do things that i don’t like. In most cases it works because daily chores are boring and repetitive. But for more creative things it doesn’t work to push myself too hard to do something.
When I finished the school I had a feeling that I knew what I wanted to study but I never followed my heart. I shared my thoughts with a few people and everyone was kind of laughing at my idea (I was studying history and wanted to be an archeologist). Everyone told me that I’ll be poor and unemployed if I pursue what I thought I wanted. I was naive and chose something popular (management and economics). This wasn’t my best idea but I got my master’s degree and didn’t work even a single day according to my degree.
Sometimes I think that I made a mistake by not listening to my heart. Why? Because I need to push myself to do anything. It’s not about low motivation, it’s about me wishing to do something else, but not even knowing what. I know that motivation is fading away fast and only discipline works but life lost its glory. This feeling could also be because of war in my home country.
What I understood was that kids after school could not know (in most cases) what they wanted to do in life. Because of this kids choose the wrong education path and suffer all life due to the feeling of being incomplete. This happens because of the educational system that was made to make a lot of money on yesterday’s school going teenagers. I believe that after school it is better to take at least one year to travel and explore the possibilities. And only after making the decision of what to do in life.
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